


...and be loved in return

by vogue91



Category: Hey! Say! JUMP, Johnny's Entertainment
Genre: Eventual Happy Ending, Flashbacks, Getting Together, Love, Love Confessions, M/M, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-21
Updated: 2018-05-21
Packaged: 2019-05-09 18:27:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,072
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14721314
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vogue91/pseuds/vogue91
Summary: And Takaki waited, and he knew he was going to give him time to think, that he was going to wait for as long as it took.But that he wasn’t going to leave without an answer.





	...and be loved in return

_It had taken time. Hikaru had fought against the instinct of calling Yabu in the middle of the night, crying on the phone, begging, pleading, asking him to love him just like Hikaru loved him._

_That time was gone, and he could think about it with a certain serenity._

_He wasn’t ready to smile about it just yet, but it was sure that a day would come when he would've been able to._

_It hadn't been easy, that much was sure._

_But it had never seemed harder as it did now, when Yuya was in front of him, asking him to make a choice._

I’m in love with you, Hikaru.

_That’s what the elder had said, and all he could’ve done was to keep quiet._

_His mind was crowded by thoughts, twisted, and it was like he couldn’t make sense of it._

_And Takaki waited, and he knew he was going to give him time to think, that he was going to wait for as long as it took._

_But that he wasn’t going to leave without an answer._

Hikaru thought about that day often.

He didn’t feel anything special when he did. Just, from time to time, Yuya’s serious eyes came to his mind, alongside his determined stare, that he had hardly even seen on him since that day.

When he thought about it, smiling was the most natural thing in the world.

 

_“I... I don’t know if I’m ready, Yuuyan. You know what’s happened with Yabu, you know how I’ve felt because you’re the one I talked to about it. And... I don’t know if I can love you.” he whispered._

_Yuya smiled, a smile that didn’t taste much like happiness, more of understanding._

_“Of course I do. And if that hadn't happened I wouldn’t be here now. But... you’re broken, and I hate to see you like this. If you think you can open yourself to me just a little, I wish you’d let me at least try and make you happy.” he replied, and Hikaru felt like crying just hearing those words._

_Because he was stalling. He still didn’t have an answer for him._

Hikaru remembered that right then he thought he would've never been able to answer.

Because one part of him wanted to reject him, aware that there was nothing in himself to offer to Yuya, aware that he was going to hurt him, aware that as much as he had tried to erase Yabu, his presence kept lingering inside his mind, for the mere fact that until then he had been the only man he had ever loved.

But on the other hand, his suggestion had been damn alluring.

Happy...

He had never been completely happy, and he didn’t know how Yuya meant to keep his word, but he knew he had a desperate need to believe him.

 

_“Why are you doing this, Yuuyan? Aren’t you afraid I might hurt you?” he asked, as to try and convince him it was a bad idea, as if he wanted him to back up, so that he wouldn’t have had to choose._

_But the elder shrugged, looking more at ease._

_“It’s not your problem, Hikka. I know what I’m facing, I know what I risk asking. I just wish... you’d try, that’s all. If you think there could be even the slightest chance that you might start feeling something for me, then I wish you’d take it.”_

Hikaru had thought about it, again and again and again.

And that chance, actually, was there.

It had been a while since he had given up on Yabu. And as much as the thought of him kept following him like a shadow, it wasn’t an intrusive one. He had abandoned the idea that there was room just for Kota in his life, that no one else could fill that void, that he was the one.

And he cared for Yuya, and the thought that he could’ve loved him didn’t seem so weird.

It had costed him to say yes, but the other’s smile had paid him back for any hardship.

_The hardest thing you can learn is to love, and be loved in return._

The words Yuya had told him, he still remembered those clearly.

He had liked them, and he had tried hard, even though he always felt at fault toward their meaning.

Because Hikaru had loved. He had loved and he had suffered for it, and then he had just let himself be loved for a while, basking in the feeling of Takaki’s presence by his side, relishing every moment of his hugs, of his caresses, of those words whispered in his ear making him feel like they were the only two people in the whole world.

But for too long he had just being loved.

Then one morning he had woken up, and everything had looked different.

He had realized he had smiled spontaneously when he had seen Yuya sleeping heavily on the other side of the bed, he had realized how much he liked feeling his scent drenching the room, the sheets, the pillows.

He had realized that nothing else mattered, and that he hadn't thought about Kota in months, nor about how much he had loved him and what he had had to pay for that love.

He was happy, simple as that.

And now he was still there, the same feeling, the same smile and the same scent surrounding him, that scent that had become something familiar, something beautiful.

He moved toward Yuya, slowly bringing an arm around his waist and trying not to wake him up.

He heard him groan a little, but he didn’t open his eyes.

He rested his face against his shoulders, holding him close and trying to drown himself in his presence.

Love and being loved, and then Hikaru knew there was nothing else.

Yuya had said one thing right and one wrong, but he couldn’t blame him.

He had kept his promise, he had picked him up, put him back together, he had made him happy.

But now Hikaru wasn’t letting him love you anymore.

He loved Yuya, he loved that man that was able to make him smile, day after day.

He loved that man that had fought for him, and that in the end had won.

There wasn’t someone being subjected to that feeling anymore, now they were on the same page.

They were happy, together.


End file.
